I went to Rwanda almost three weeks ago for a stay of 7 nights. I was accompanying my mother, who had some potential work to do in Kigali, the capital, and she was invited to attend a conference on forgiveness convened by Jean-Paul Samputu, internationally renowned singer from Rwanda who now resides in Canada. JP has his own story of forgiveness that is extremely powerful, and in forgiving his neighbor, he overcame a number of debilitating addictions.
The conference was aimed at promoting the message of reconciliation through forgiveness on a larger scale, and naturally, that entailed a lot of learning about the genocide and hearing peoples' testimonials about their experiences. The whole experience has left me both speechless and brimming over with information I want to share ith people; I feel like a Rwanda evangelist, in a way, in that I want to dispel peoples' misperceptions of the country and bring them into a new understanding. Below I've inserted a bit of an email I sent back to friends and family expanding on my experience:The setup of our conference we have been in has been both a blessing and a curse, in a sense; for we have reached far into the depths of this country's wounds of the genocide 15 years ago, which as Mom alluded to are still very fresh for the majority of people here. However, reaching into the past trauma of millions of people so deeply naturally affects you in a way that you cannot avoid. You cannot understand Rwanda without learning of the genocide, it is simply too much a part of the collective psychology of Rwandans to avoid. It is as though life stopped in 1994 for a large part of the population, and they lost part of their souls in that 45 day period. We met with a group of perpetrators and victims in the town of Nyamata two days ago, which was a kind of "ground zero" for the genocide for reasons I don't fully understand. The eyes of those people, both victims and perpetrators, are something I will never forget. I have never seen such emptiness in human eyes before; an emptiness beyond mere sadness, as if life cannot show these people anything anymore. As though life itself is a curse to them, and living on is the cross they must bear, yet they are too courageous to take their own lives. So they exist in some sort of netherworld where their husbands, wives and children hold no more joy for them.Yes, to say I was struck deeply by Rwanda is a gross understatement.
Mom is absolutely correct in saying that this is the most intense place we have ever traveled to, yet the intensity is not there because of any sort of violent tension or danger, but rather, the near-universal process of national reconciliation and introspection that is constantly at work here comes through in virtually every conversation I have, and that positive, creative tension of attempting to find meaning in genocide is constantly palpable. Make no mistake, the people here are the warmest, most welcoming, bar none, that I have ever met. There is an incredible tenderness and physicality to the culture in Rwanda that belies the violence and brutality of the genocide. The standard greeting is to hug someone and to air kiss them on each cheek for a total of three times. And it is a real, sustained hug, not the French laying of hands on the arms-type of hug. When people talk to you, they hold on to your hand, men included, and when other men, usually teenagers or young men my age want to show me something, they literally lead me by the hand. It puts into drastic relief the coldness and distance of our North American and European cultures, and I find I rather appreciate it.
So if this email strikes a somewhat somber note, I did not intend it to be that way, it is just the basic reality of this country. That being said, I have fallen in love with this place. There have been so many serendipitous events here that seem to point me towards moving here and working to help people and promoting Rwandan development, it just feels that the universe wants me to be here. It feels so natural to live here, simply and relatively in tune with nature, it will be quite a shock to leave on Wednesday. I have open invitations to stay in Nairobi, Kenya with some students I have befriended, and another from a man who has helped to run things here in Kigali, the wonderful Celestin. So we'll see what happens when I return to San Francisco, but at this point I feel pretty determined to find my way back here for a more extended stay.
